Sheena Blair DUI

Moving Sheena's Spirit Forward

Sheena Blair DUI - Moving Sheena's Spirit Forward

Our friends in Everett

We went to Everett today, we try to get up there at least once or twice a year. We always go to the DUI Victim memorial wall at McCollum park. Carol usually brings a flower I always lay down some tobacco and leave a pepperoni stick. Sheena LOVED pepperoni sticks. We then went to a Safeway where Carol got some pretty spring flowers and we visited Sheena and Tony’s “Please don’t drink and drive” sign where they were both killed on Broadway under the 41st street overpass. THAT is hard. Seeing where this happened makes us sad and angry. Again.

We then were lucky enough to meet with the two most special people who were SO supportive throughout the Criminal justice part of this whole mess. The traffic Sargent and the Traffic investigative Detective of the Everett Police Department. These two gentlemen were SO good about keeping us in the loop during the investigation. They were also VERY supportive of us during court hearings. We would ask what to expect and they told us. They were right every time. When I called and mentioned that the victim advocate from the prosecutor’s office was not only NOT helpful but just ignored our calls and wouldn’t show up at court hearings, we weren’t even shown where the damn courtrooms were. When we went up to the hearing where the offender changed her plea from not guilty to guilty, they met us at the door and escorted us to the courtroom. They were also joined by eight uniformed police officers and two detectives. Quite an entourage. As we walked down the halls people would whisper “JEESUS. I wonder what THEY did”. They are very impressed and admirable of our actions in the state legislature, like helping to triple the sentencing guidelines for vehicular homicide. We are just as impressed of their professionalism and sensitivity in their dealings with us. We would have NEVER made it through all this without them.

Since this has happened to us we have met and worked with a LOT of AMAZING people. We have become friends with REALLY smart people in state agencies who LIVE this stuff, for whom traffic safety and prevention of deaths and injuries on our hiways is a mission. We have been places and been with high placed elected officials and high ranking military officers we never dreamed of ever being with in the same room. Goodness knows we have been in front of TV cameras and radio appearances trying EVERYTHING we can to make a difference and move Sheena’s spirit forward.

But at the end of the day we know why all this is happening. As inspiring as all the people we work with are, the pain we feel over Sheena’s loss is always present. We think of her every day. After a trip like today we ARE sad AND angry. This has left a huge hole in our hearts. And we miss her deeply in our guts. It doesn’t get easier. Never will.

Offguard

I was driving Sheena’s little sister Amy to her volunteer job at the Pierce County Humane Society when out of the blue she asked me, “Are you guys going to be around for a while?” I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant at first. Then she brought up that Sheena had always promised to watch out for her after we died. Now she’s gone and now Amy doesn’t know who is going to look after when we die. She doesn’t know this, but it’s ONE of many things that cause my eyes to snap open in the middle of the night.

I wasn’t sure exactly how to answer. The EASY way would have been to just say that we will ALWAYS be there for her and to not worry. She has disabilities but she’s NOT stupid. So I just told her that we had no control of when we pass on. We HOPE to be here for a long time. She added “You ARE getting up there ya know”………. Hard to argue with that.Then I told her that a LOT of people love her in at LEAST twenty states and at LEAST four countries. I told her that she doesn’t have ONE big sister anymore,she has dozens. She seemed to get it. I didn’t lie to her, I couldn’t. We are people of modest means and we do NOT have a million dollar trust fund set up for her. I DO worry.

Of COURSE the reason we are even HAVING this discussion is because of a damn drunk driver. SHE will get out of prison and move on. We won’t. SHE will have grandchildren someday, WE won’t. A few beers, a couple glasses of wine, a couple drinks a couple hits from a bong. Sounds innocent enough. It is NOT. Amy damn near broke my heart today. Is this “normal”? It is now for US at least. Although I think about stuff like this all the time now, this caught me off guard. Thanks Camille.